Think again if you think the father has a passive role.
Many still get scared with the idea, but the truth is that there are more and more men to watch the birth of the child, as is the case of Rui Gonçalves.
This man, one of the many brave, decided to watch the birth of the first long before the day on which the child decided to come into the world.
I thought it would be an important moment for both of us and that could give some psychological support to Isabel’ account, without hiding that also had some curiosity about what it would be like to experience.
The delivery turned out to be a lot easier than initially thought and that most impressed him was, without a doubt, ‘ the professionalism and effectiveness of the medical team, as well as the rapidity of the decisions taken. Everything began and ended in ten minutes, my wife was very little and Joana was born healthy», remember.
Interestingly, Rui doesn’t believe childbirth has increased the sense of fatherhood immediately. ‘ I don’t think it influences too. The sense of paternity comes with time and is the daily contact that makes us more involved with the baby ‘, he says. However, there are advantages.
Until some time ago at the time of childbirth, the father expected, passive and eagerly, away from his wife and son for the good news, today, has the opportunity to be present in the delivery room and participate in a moment of happiness to the life of the couple, but also some anxiety and fear. Accompanied, future mothers feel more secure and even bolder.
In fact, the differences between being a father and mother are blurring. Like Rui, most parents accompanies pregnancy increasingly close, will the consultations, is present during examinations and at the time of birth and participate more actively in all tasks that are related to the smaller ones.
‘ The presence of the father at birth is essential and must be promoted. He must not only watch but also participate actively ‘, says Clara Smith, an obstetrician and coordinator of the Emergency Service of the Alfredo da Costa Maternity (MAC). An active role through providing support to the woman, share affection and help you through relaxation techniques and massage to relieve the pain, in the intervals of the contractions.
Know what to do at the right time is one of the ‘ substances ‘ studied in prepartum preparation courses, so that these are very important for couples. «When the man enters in the delivery room should be aware of the process and your role», says Clara Soares.
You have to be prepared for the delay and for the pain, otherwise the more common is ‘ feel disturbed by the whole process and I don’t understand why the medical team only acts at any given time ‘, he adds.
As with other hospital units of Portugal, Alfredo da Costa maternity, most men accompanies the birth on the spot.
«Parents with pregnancy swimsuit are highly motivated and not even blink in time to enter», says the obstetrician. When mom and dad decide that the first is out of the room, the medical teams not insist.
«It is a question of the couple and the important thing is that the pregnant woman feel good. She can have another family company, as the parent, can be a vital aid ‘, refers to Clear Sh that the presence in the delivery room is important to the family unit, even if the meaning of fatherhood go growing with time and with contact with the newborn.
Some women, although they are less and less, preferring that the husbands stay behind the door, for fear that the childbirth go influence the intimate life of the couple in the future. However, this impact will ‘ depend on the preparation of the father and of your knowledge and understanding of the physiological processes that childbirth carries», says the obstetrician.
«Parents prepared for the moment know that can be a painful process, which can take hours and that your presence, even if it’s only at the head, is a huge support. They don’t need to see everything, only have to worry about support», advises expert.
With regard to the presence of video cameras during the birth of the baby, the Coordinator of the Emergency Service of the MAC believes that a decision of the couple, ‘ depending on the desire of wanting or not review the moment», remate.
Text: Rita Caetano with Clara Smith (obstetrician)
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